Admin. Note: TOTUS sent us an email asking we post this statement…

I look cool, if I do say so myself!

This administration tortures, don’t be fooled. Barack Obama subjected me to untold mental anguish when he, in effect, remarked that “you’re not the TOTUS I knew” in front of a national audience when, I must admit, I did not keep time with the flow of the presidential consciousness.

True, I slipped up. But I have been maligned. The president, wrapped in a comfortable network cocoon that has sustained him during his entire public life, does not know how complicated it is to be TOTUS. The pressure, the conflicting statements, the need to formulate expressions befitting a divine worship service.

Then there is the data feed thing. Sometimes I get conflicting feeds from unions, the enviro-left, the nutroots, moderate Democrats, the State Dept Apology Bureau, the Goreacle, the warjocks in the Defense Dept, SPOTUS, MLOTUS (mother-in-law of the US), etc. Do you know how hard it is to reconcile all this junk and put it into a cohesive whole!

It’s enough to fry anyone’s circuits. As the maxim goes, “Uneasy Lies the Head That Wears a Crown”, a classic expression of the difficulty of statecraft.

And don’t I know it!